Salam Ramadhan al Mubarak 1432H 2011

I never thought i'd be seeing you again so fast. What have i been doing since last year? There are a lot of things to ponder and reflect about. Let us take this time of the year to make up for all we have missed. Whatever it is, keep our faith strong and firm and let us be kind and generous towards others. May this month showers His blessings upon us.

5 Centimeters per second

Found another gem, this time it's an anime. The title's a bit odd for an anime though. 5 centimeters per second. The only way the title could be explained is by reading this excerpt here,

"The title 5 Centimeters Per Second comes from the speed at which cherry blossoms petals fall, petals being a metaphorical representation of humans, reminiscent of the slowness of life and how people often start together but slowly drift into their separate ways"


The movie is simplistic in its way of portraying the life of a young boy who meets a girl and got separated, as he grows older, the memories remains, and could remain forever, as suggested in the anime. The same goes for the girl, though she accepted the fact that she now just a piece of memory of him, nonetheless she still acts like the boy, always thinking about him, not  a day passes by that i don't think about you, even just for a while. The way the anime portrays the feeling and expression of the characters are priceless, intentionally keeping the characters from revealing their true feelings but we still feel as if we can read and understand them. I'm a fan of happy endings which is not usually realistic in real life, so it's heartbreaking when in the end they didn't get together again after all those while (especially the last scene when the passed each other at the train line) T.T 


However, he smiled at the end, finally letting go of his past. Life must go on.


The anime is as detailed and expressive as it can be, leaving few to the imagination of the director, Makoto Shinkai who mostly did sci-fi/fantasy anime. The soundtrack was awesome too especially the ending theme, i love it. 

My Mother's Day

There are many ways people would ask how much do you love your mom, what's your most memorable thing with you and her, what do you miss most of her.

When someone asked me to list 5 of your happiest moments with your mom i was dumbfounded. i couldn't possibly spits out 5 not even 1. it must be awkward when it's supposed to be really easy. just name any, like when she cooks your favorite meal or something, anything? How can it be? what, you don't really love your mom or something?

I sat there in silence...trying my hardest when it struck me. How could i list FIVE things of happy moments with her when all my life it was nothing but only happiness (with her)? I couldn't recall any specific moments because i regard each and every moment with her is special. I love her too much that i just can't choose without feeling disturbed that there are some special moments with her that are, not special.

All my life, this person guided me, teaches me, loves me, scolds me, reminds me, more than anyone ever did. I would recall (from many other) the time when she encourages me to be 'observant'. I was around 8 or 9 at that time. It was when we were driving back home to Terengganu, as she tells her childhood story (that are so fascinating by the way) that she would intermittently add some moral values in her stories. This time it is about to be 'observant'. To really open your eyes and see the world in another perspective. I took it by heart and started to be 'observant' (tried to, at least) from that day on. Obviously, there are so many values, stories, knowledges, etc that she taught that i would say that i am not what i am today without her, i wouldnt' even be close to what i am today without her. She's is the single most biggest influence in my life.

I was around 13 or 14 at that time (adolescent years, which im not fond of) when i vehemently abjects to her holding my hand in public or whenever when we're trying to cross the road. it wouldn't be seen as 'macho' or 'cool' for your mom to still holding your hand (who's watching anyway?). Or when we went to 'the Store' or 'Pantai Timur' supermarket to buy some shirts or pants. How she happily picks up any shirts (which is ugly from my view, at that time) and tries it on me and told me to put it on and then picks up another (horrible) pant to go with it. How 'uncool' is that? You are a big boy ( big lah sangat) now and still shops with your mom? Pergh, if my friends saw me i wouldn't know what to say. Eventually i never met or stumbled upon anyone in my years of 'mummy shopping' with her.

I miss that time, i miss it when she's busy looking for the best shirt for me, looking for the right sizes, usually meaning the worker to get into the store looking for the exact size. I miss her terribly when she would ask me to accompany her throughout the bazar or pasar malam, looking and most usually never buy anything other than tempering with my mood. Then she would laugh and mention how i'm always like that....

But i would remember many wrongs that i did to her. How i wish that i would never make her disappointed in me. But as life makes it way, there are some disappointments and sad moments along the way. I just hope that  i could make up for it somehow, someday.

One thing i'm sure of, she would never stop loving me. She would call us siblings almost every 3 or 4 days (at least twice) a week. Just to share some stories of her work or about my brother and all. No, her call wasn't not short in any way, most likely it will be around half an hour. Whenever my phone rings around 7 or 8 pm, my friends would yell for me, saying, "Syauqee, your mother's calling!!". Then i would hurry to pick up the phone and if someone doesn't know better it looks like i'm talking to a girlfriend.

I know she won't read this. Heck, i don't care. Because i know whatever happens, we will always be in her prayers everytime, everyday. Her love would not increase by reading this because it's always full, regardless. For all you have done, and so much more, i just want to say I love you mom, and may Allah grant you eternal happiness here until the hereafter.

p.s. just had to wait on the cherry story. this one goes first because i'm in the mood :)

7 months ago...

My last post was on October 11 2010. That'll be around 7 MONTHS since I last post anything here.

LOTS had happened in those 7 months. LOTS of thing i want to share but didn't. Anyway, i am looking forward to restart my writing. Hopefully, i can cover those missing months XD

Starting with my first full time working experience here in Australia as a cherry sorter for the next post.

Ramadhan 2010

So here i am after spending my first Ramadhan overseas, and my first Aidilftri overseas. The first one without my family around me. The first one outside of Terengganu actually since both my parents are from the same state. And i missed my first solat raya overseas : (  Insyaallah next year i'll try my hardest to stay awake and go to the local masjid. Luckily enough my first aidilfitri celebration overseas went without a hitch or any problems whatsoever. We had plenty of traditional foods to choose from lemang, laksa, soto, rendang, kuih raya but no ketupat. Or maybe there is but i missed it. We the bujangs did a performance of dikir barat and it was so hilarious and fun. We did practiced twice but overall i think it was okay considering we had to submit two assignments prior (the day before to be exact) to the celebration.

students of deakin university

But it's not the Syawal i wanted to write about. It's about the Ramadhan that had just past.


I had to admit it was different from the typical Ramadhan i ever had. There was no atmosphere of fasting around us. Same day as any other day, except everyone else is eating and you're not. There was no bazar ramadhan to visit. None here in Geelong but there are some mini bazars around Melbourne. What we want to eat, we cook ourselves. There was no big congregation of people going to the masjid every night, the typical huge volume of people trying to get to the mosque before tarawih each night that causes massive traffic jams along the road. We had only ourselves. Our little community of Muslim comprised of families and friends and the local Muslims. But it was enough. I feel blessed. Even in the land where Islam is not a major religion, i'm humbled.


True we had almost non-existance Ramadhan atmosphere around us but we had plenty when we were around ourselves. I realized how true the saying out of the comfort zone is now. We became much more conscious of ourselves, our actions and of others. We had tarawih every single night which is not always the case back in Malaysia for me. The first week was at the local masjid where we had our share of experiencing Turkish way of ramadhan. A bit fast, okay maybe more than a bit but still it's the niat that matters. The following weeks were done in the comfort of our house yet nonetheless enriching and humbling. We took turns by being the imam and hilmi being the wiseguy of our house nicknamed the routine 'akademi calon suami' (or something like that, i can't really recall). haha. drop me an email for your suitable future husband :)



Another aspect that improved vastly was the skill of our cooking. We made the challenge of creating 30 different dishes in 30 days of ramadhan. It was succesful....almost. Because during the last days we somehow lost track of the dishes made.haha. But still it was fun and challenging to complete the feat. I for one successfully made the tom yam chiang mai for 20 person during our house iftar. it was a great event and bonding session between us students. and we had a near-faint tragedy because the tom yam was too spicy for naz to handle and also shazwan whom i didn't know is allergic to mushrooms. im truly, deeply sorry to both of you :P

deqnot & tas checking out our tomyam chiang mai (mira is already on it.haha)

iftar at our house and bonding session

But most of all, i believe i improved even if it's not much but to a certain understanding. In the sense of spirituality and believing. We had a nightly discussion where we discussed and shared stories and experiences and give advices to each other which i truly valued. Not to forget the plentiful infos and tazkirahs available on the web to help shed the light towards the right path. This kind of activity is really benefiting to all of us. Sometimes it's the words of our close friends are the most effective and easy to comprehend. I learned a lot and i hoped my friends too. There is a hadis that says "Belajar satu bab daripada ilmu lebih baik dari sembahyang (sunat) seratus rakaat” riwayat Ibn Abdul Barr and Ibn Majah. These little discussions might open the way towards jannah. insyallah.


And that's all for this article. i originally wrote the drafts for this article a few days into syawal but lost the enthusiasm and ideas to write. eventually, syawal had passed me by and i just finished my study for this semester so i got some time to ponder and write. i shall remember this past ramadhan as one of my best and enriching month. let's pray for the next ramadhan to be better and we live to meet it again, insyallah.


wasalam.

Knowing thyself

I always believe that life is a journey of learning about yourself. When we were born into the world we learn how to breathe instinctively. Then gradually we learn the physical aspects of ourself from walking, jumping, running, swimming, smiling, eating, and to hold our pee when the toilets're full or too dirty.

However, it's not the physical actions of ourself i'm focusing on but more towards our spiritual side. Our personality, the character, how we handle ourselves etc. 

According to dictionary.com personality by definition is the quality of being a person;  existence as a self-conscious human being;  a personal identity.

As Paolo Coelho aptly said;

Man improves himself as he follows his path; if he stands still, waiting to improve before he makes a decision, he'll never move. 

When we made 'the' decision and move forward, we inevitably learn about ourself. Why did we made the decision, what did we consider when we made the decision? How will the decision affect us? Wether the decision we took is one we happy with or did we just made a mistake is not as important as the journey we go through when we made our decision. 

Life is about learning ourself and improve and make mistakes and continue improving.

Along my short journey so far in this world I've learnt many things about myself. I learnt that i'll cry when i see/be among others cry or when i see a touchy movie or drama. I learnt that i'm most emotionally vulnerable when i'm sleepy or when i just woke up. I learnt that i forgive but don't forget. I learnt how to appear happy and satisfied when actually i'm sad and disappointed. I learnt to be content. I learnt that i keep my secrets quite well that nobody (even my close friends) actually know my full story and history other than the normal trivial matters like where you were born, lived, studied etc. (as if anybody is interested).

Further up on learning about ourself is how we learn to react to others in a certain situation, how we control ourself when we are faced with something we truly despise or cherished, what path do we usually take when are given option to choose. To be safe or to take some risk. Will we take the scenic road or the bland one? Learning when we are the most effective, is it in the early morning? or late at night? will it be a long-focused several hours of concentration or we need to take some pause between the hours to stay sharp.

I learnt that to accept others and to not judge them by appearances is extremely hard. To accept them as they are in the belief that nobody is perfect and we ourself are never a saint to start with. How often do we ridicule someone out without even trying to know them by just looking at their Facebook profile picture or when we heard from a friend of your best friend's friend that his friend said something bad about him that when we actually met the person we already have bad thoughts about him?

Maybe we learn about ourself differently. Either by experience, stories, observing, reading and many countless ways. But ultimately to learn and accept being ourself is a journey in itself. I might write this post today after mulling about the subject for more than a month. Which i learnt that i'm not one to write something without preparation or knowledge with fear that it might be misleading or cause unnecessary problems :)

Have we learnt something about ourself today?

Sometimes in your life you will go on a journey. It will be the longest journey you have ever taken. It is the journey to find yourself. - Katherine Sharp 

Salam Ramadhan 1431H

Salam Ramadhan dari warga Moorabool, Geelong, Australia. Semoga Ramadhan kali ini lebih baik dari yang sebelumnya.