When someone asked me to list 5 of your happiest moments with your mom i was dumbfounded. i couldn't possibly spits out 5 not even 1. it must be awkward when it's supposed to be really easy. just name any, like when she cooks your favorite meal or something, anything? How can it be? what, you don't really love your mom or something?
I sat there in silence...trying my hardest when it struck me. How could i list FIVE things of happy moments with her when all my life it was nothing but only happiness (with her)? I couldn't recall any specific moments because i regard each and every moment with her is special. I love her too much that i just can't choose without feeling disturbed that there are some special moments with her that are, not special.
All my life, this person guided me, teaches me, loves me, scolds me, reminds me, more than anyone ever did. I would recall (from many other) the time when she encourages me to be 'observant'. I was around 8 or 9 at that time. It was when we were driving back home to Terengganu, as she tells her childhood story (that are so fascinating by the way) that she would intermittently add some moral values in her stories. This time it is about to be 'observant'. To really open your eyes and see the world in another perspective. I took it by heart and started to be 'observant' (tried to, at least) from that day on. Obviously, there are so many values, stories, knowledges, etc that she taught that i would say that i am not what i am today without her, i wouldnt' even be close to what i am today without her. She's is the single most biggest influence in my life.
I was around 13 or 14 at that time (adolescent years, which im not fond of) when i vehemently abjects to her holding my hand in public or whenever when we're trying to cross the road. it wouldn't be seen as 'macho' or 'cool' for your mom to still holding your hand (who's watching anyway?). Or when we went to 'the Store' or 'Pantai Timur' supermarket to buy some shirts or pants. How she happily picks up any shirts (which is ugly from my view, at that time) and tries it on me and told me to put it on and then picks up another (horrible) pant to go with it. How 'uncool' is that? You are a big boy ( big lah sangat) now and still shops with your mom? Pergh, if my friends saw me i wouldn't know what to say. Eventually i never met or stumbled upon anyone in my years of 'mummy shopping' with her.
I miss that time, i miss it when she's busy looking for the best shirt for me, looking for the right sizes, usually meaning the worker to get into the store looking for the exact size. I miss her terribly when she would ask me to accompany her throughout the bazar or pasar malam, looking and most usually never buy anything other than tempering with my mood. Then she would laugh and mention how i'm always like that....
But i would remember many wrongs that i did to her. How i wish that i would never make her disappointed in me. But as life makes it way, there are some disappointments and sad moments along the way. I just hope that i could make up for it somehow, someday.
One thing i'm sure of, she would never stop loving me. She would call us siblings almost every 3 or 4 days (at least twice) a week. Just to share some stories of her work or about my brother and all. No, her call wasn't not short in any way, most likely it will be around half an hour. Whenever my phone rings around 7 or 8 pm, my friends would yell for me, saying, "Syauqee, your mother's calling!!". Then i would hurry to pick up the phone and if someone doesn't know better it looks like i'm talking to a girlfriend.
I know she won't read this. Heck, i don't care. Because i know whatever happens, we will always be in her prayers everytime, everyday. Her love would not increase by reading this because it's always full, regardless. For all you have done, and so much more, i just want to say I love you mom, and may Allah grant you eternal happiness here until the hereafter.
p.s. just had to wait on the cherry story. this one goes first because i'm in the mood :)
